When the Hartlepool United job became available in December, Graeme Lee had more to consider than a long-held ambition to manage.
The 43-year-old’s wife, Gemma, has an inoperable brain tumour. She had been given 12 months to live. That, however, was more than two years ago.
In November of 2020, Sportsmail visited the Lee family home in Middlesbrough to mark a year to the day since the terminal diagnosis.
Graeme Lee’s Hartlepool are aiming to cause a massive FA Cup upset against Crystal Palace
Lee will be supported by his wife Gemma and their two children at Selhurst Park on Saturday (pictured in 2020)
We found Gemma full of fight and, most significantly, life. The mother of Grayson, nine, and Hadley, six, had refused palliative care and, through a cocktail of drugs, had stopped the growth of the tumour.
So, when Graeme noted the vacancy at his former club Hartlepool, there was a conversation to be had.
‘The first thing Gemma said was, “Go for it, this is something we need as a family. What an opportunity – go and get it!”,’ says Graeme, then in charge of Middlesbrough’s Under-23s.
Gemma has an inoperable brain tumour and was told she had 12 months to live more than two years ago
‘I saw the fire in her belly when she spoke about it. We looked at it as something to drive us on. It was a decision for the whole family – it felt like a positive swing in our lives. With Gemma’s situation, you have to move forward. If you stand still, it can kill you.’
Gemma, 41, will be with the children at Selhurst Park on Saturday afternoon when League Two Hartlepool face top-flight Crystal Palace in the FA Cup fourth round. It feels like a milestone day in the family’s journey.
‘When I stop for a second and consider what this day means… wow,’ says Graeme, a centre-half of over 500 career appearances. ‘It puts a lot into perspective after what we’ve been through the last three years.’
So, what is the latest with Gemma?
‘They’ve told us that “stable” is the best we’ll get,’ says Graeme. ‘Gemma doesn’t believe that. She still thinks, and rightly so, that it came along for some reason, so it can bugger off for some reason.
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‘But we’re still living between scans every three months. The build-up is nerve-racking.’
Gemma urged Graeme to take the Hartlepool job when it became available in December
Graeme had researched alternative treatments after chemotherapy and radiotherapy did not work and a Macmillan nurse had suggested creating ‘memory boxes’ for the children. In January of 2020, he took a flight to Germany with an empty suitcase.
‘I went to the chemist and stuffed my suitcase full of these drugs – I was like Pablo Escobar,’ he says. ‘It was a three-day round trip via trains and planes all for a couple of hours in Germany – but what a couple of hours it has proven to be.’
That drug – ONC201, at a cost of £5,000 per month and supported in part by fundraisers at several of Graeme’s former clubs – has done something, although no-one is exactly sure what, as is often the way with brain tumours.
‘Gemma is out there living, doing as much as she can,’ he says. ‘Parts of the day even feel normal now, although something can trigger a thought at any time, it’s always there. I can see moments when Gemma is quiet.
‘But she is only still here because of who she is, that belief and power to beat what we were being told.’
Vieira will be hoping his side are not on the wrong end of an upset against the League Two side
There will be one regret for Graeme on Saturday. His father, Tony, is too unwell to travel to south London. The 74-year-old, a former footballer, is suffering from dementia. He has history with the FA Cup, too, guiding Whitby Town and Billingham Synthonia to the second and first rounds respectively during the Eighties.
‘I remember our Sunday League manager getting all us kids on a minibus and surprising Dad by turning up at a Billingham away game in the Cup,’ says Graeme.
‘But he’s struggling now. He comes to the home games, but he doesn’t understand. He questions why I’m not playing. For someone like my dad, his knowledge of football, that’s sad.
‘But I know somewhere inside he’s watching and smiling. For him seeing me do this – he always wanted to be a Football League manager – he would be one proud man.’
It will be a proud day on so many levels for the Lee family on Saturday afternoon.
Crystal Palace have donated to the fundraising appeal for Gemma’s treatment. The link to donate can be found here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/warriorgl365